How to help someone having a panic attack
Watching someone you care about have a panic attack can feel helpless and frightening. The good news: your calm presence is genuinely one of the most helpful things in the world right now. You do not need to fix it — you need to stay, and steady.
⚓ Struggling right now? Open the Haven app and tap “I feel bad right now” — support first, reading later.
First, be the calm in the room
Panic is contagious, and so is calm. Lower your own voice, slow your movements, and get to their eye level. Your steady nervous system quietly tells theirs that there is no emergency. This alone does a lot.
What to say
Keep it short, warm and reassuring: “I’m here. You’re safe. This is a panic attack — it feels awful, but it will pass.” Remind them it always ends, usually within minutes. Ask simple yes/no questions. Avoid a flood of words; one calm sentence at a time is easier to take in.
What not to say
Avoid “Just calm down”, “There’s nothing to worry about”, or “Stop overreacting.” These feel dismissive and add shame. Do not grab or restrain them, and don’t crowd them. If they want space, give it while staying nearby.
Help them breathe
Breathing is the fastest lever — but don’t command it, offer it. Breathe with them, out loud: in for about 4, out for about 6, the exhale longer than the inhale. A longer out-breath signals safety to the body. If counting is too much, just slow your own breathing and let them follow.
Afterwards
When the wave passes, they may feel drained or embarrassed. Be gentle: “That took a lot. I’m glad I was here.” Offer water, a quiet moment, and no analysis right now. Later, you might gently encourage support if attacks recur — panic disorder is very treatable.
When to call emergency
Treat it as a possible medical emergency — call 911 (US) or your local number — if there is chest pain spreading to the arm or jaw, fainting or a loss of consciousness, trouble breathing that is not easing, it is their first ever episode, or anything feels different or more severe than a usual panic attack. It is always better to check.
Frequently asked
What is the single most helpful thing I can do?
Stay calm and stay with them. Your steady presence, a few reassuring words, and slow breathing they can follow are more powerful than any clever advice.
Should I help them breathe into a paper bag?
No — that old advice can be unsafe and is no longer recommended. Instead, guide slow breathing with a longer exhale (in for 4, out for 6).
How long will it last?
Panic attacks usually peak within about 10 minutes and then ease. It can feel much longer to them, so gentle reminders that it will pass really help.
Keep a calm harbor within reach
Haven explains what is happening and walks you through breathing and grounding — free and offline.
Open the appThis is psychoeducational content and not a substitute for professional care. If anxiety persists, it is worth seeing a doctor or therapist — anxiety is very treatable.